October 3: Inside (À l'intérieur) (2007)

That was terrible for the baby.

Inside (2007) is a french horror film that's basically about a baby getting the shit end of the straw (stick?).

There's a girl named Sarah who "(doesn't) give a fuck about Christmas." She pretty much fucks with everyone's buzz she can handle. I've never seen such an angry pregnant. The pregnant are not supposed to be Livid (you saw what I did there). 

The pregnant are supposed to be jolly, just like their cousins, The overweight.

Anyway, there's this nice lady smoking a cigarette Inside the hospital (see where the film got it's name?). Sarah screws her over by calling her a "twat." -Cut to a couple hours later- Adding insult the injury, Sarah won't let the nice lady borrow her telephone when her car has broken down (can you imagine how pissed the baby is getting)!

Turns out the lady finds her way into the house while Sarah is sleeping. She literally starts sniffing everything. The baby's clothes, garments, anything she can get her hands on.

I could keep going, but I think we all know what happens from here. Sarah's bad attitude starts rubbing off on everyone around her, and the baby has a terrible night. Check out the trailer for Alexandre Bustillo's Inside (2007) after the jump.

October 2: El Orfanato (The Orphanage) (2007)

What a recovery from my October 1 movie. El Orfanato (2007) is probably my favorite Guillermo del Toro film. Pan's Labyrinth wasn't my thing. Hell Boy was...Hell Boy. And I haven't seen much else of his work.

A lot of folks compare The Orphanage to The Others (2001). I haven't seen Others in a long time, but I recall a lot of the acclaim stemming from that "big twist" ending. You know, the Bruce-Willis-Sixth-Sense finale. You get it; the Alec-Baldwin-Beetlejuice-Epiphany.

Now we're on the same page.

Orphanage's "twist(s)" prove to be tightly woven into the storyline. From start to finish, it delivers an eerie thriller with a lot of mysteries. Whats most impressive is del Toro's ability to recover so quickly from the film's devastating climax, ending as a feel-good, spooky fairytale.

I was reminded of New Nightmare (1994) in a curious way. The relationship between protagonist Mother & Son, and the Mother's reluctance to play the child's game in order to solve the mystery. Additionally, New Nightmare has that "fairytale" throwback to Hansel and Gretel. The Orphanage's references to Peter Pan's "Neverland" make for an interesting analogy; you never grow old in the afterlife.

Watch the trailer for El Orfanato (2007) after the cut.

October 1: The Maid (2005)

Self-proclaimed "Singapore's first homegrown horror movie." I guess they need to sprout a couple more before they get it right.

A young maid arrives in the Philippines during the Chinese Calendar's 7th month/Ghost Month; during which the gates of hell open, allowing the dead to walk the earth for 30 days as they attempt to blend in with the living.

What this movie got right was the innovative "reveal" of the pesky ghosts trying to fly under the radar. Reminded me of what Pulse (2001) did well.

The clumsy pacing brought it down, though (I have similar feelings towards Ju-On [The Grudge] [2002]). You want it to be good, and there are a few great moments, but it crashes and burns because the writer was Little Chrissy on time release Adderall.

And even though the combination of Mandarin and English was an interesting approach, the English-spoken lines still needed subtitles. Truthfully, some of the actors' English really hindered my total understanding of the story.

- -

One last thing... All I can hear is the "Pants on the Ground" lyricist preaching about 'Hair in the Face.'

31 Films of October

Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society I vow to watch (at least) one horror film a day. All the damn way until October 31st.

I know what you're thinking-- "But Calamity Stan, you watch horror movies year-round. What's so special about October?"

I'll tell you, Franklin Hardesty. Does a bartender close up shop on St. Patrick's Day? Does Jamie Lee Curtis only eat that yogurt during the commercial? You think Laurie Strode doesn't try to keep regular the rest of the year? Is that what you think, Franklin?

I'll be posting film reviews daily, Franklin. I hope my reviews will be influential. Not by quality of writing, or quality of design (this is the most gimmicky, blood splattered, helvetica brand, to ever exist, in calamity land), but hopefully you'll learn about some new flicks, that you otherwise wouldn't have been introduced to.

You can expect indies, classics, and anything else related to my month-long celebration of Halloween. So buckle your fuckin' seat belt, Officer Richards, because I'm about to go watch my October 1st film.